Silence Is Not Golden...It Is Terrifying
Whether it is one child or two or a dozen, the moment you do not hear any noise means you are already too late. Noise means they are playing where they are allowed to and with what they are allowed to. Silence means they are in your drawers or your closet or who knows where doing who knows what...
You Get Beat Playing Man To Man
We have two boys that are quick and nimble. Trying to watch them one on one is challenging to say the least. You need all hands on deck at all times.
Everyone knows. No one warns you. You will quickly learn to sacrifice clothes in the losing battle against the diaper explosion.
There is Not Enough Caffeine in the World.
Starbucks should start a special Rewards program for new parents. They call it a coffee drip, it should be an IV drip.
Mommy and Baby Will Not Leave the House for Three Months.
This is where Amazon Prime really comes in handy.
On a Sunday, you will be out of the house for a second time before most people have even brought in their newspapers.
Children are not concerned about an alarm clock or letting Mommy or Daddy enjoy the day created for rest. And don't worry, daylight savings time only makes this worse.
The Smell of Poop Never Takes Over the House.
No Showers. Period.
My morning shower used to be the way I would wake myself up and prepare for the day. On many days that is replaced by an ear piercing scream from a child who is ready to get out of his crib. Next thing you know the day is over, it is time for bed and you still have not showered.
Turn your head, blink an eye and that is all the time your child needs to create a disaster.
You Do Not Have Enough Hands.
Even the best multitasker learns quickly that he or she simply does not have enough hands to manage all of the tasks required by your baby at one time.
Children Have a Secret Weapon.
All parents have or will experience this. Your child does something wrong or you ask them not to do something and they smile. And you forget what they were doing wrong. Their secret weapon is their smile. Not fair.
Baby Wipes Are Like MacGyver
They can fix just about anything. Everyone knows the primary use for baby wipes. I just learned recently that they are also good for stain removal which is a huge benefit for me when trying to stay clean while I eat.
Nothing is Out of Reach
Your child will get their hands into anything and everything. It can be anything from an empty paper bag to mommy's makeup drawer. Nothing is safe.
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