As parents, both new and experienced, we have a preference for the way things our done when it comes to our children. This includes anything from the way they are fed to the way they are put to bed at night and countless other practices. In controlling these things we can prepare our children for the future ahead and make sure they are healthy, happy and well developed.
This sense of control is extremely difficult to let go of. Even when our sons spends one night at his grandparent's house we get tense with the loss of control. Not to say that his welfare is in jeopardy, but things are not done exactly the way we want or do in our home. We try to make sure every detail of how things go at our home are shared but inevitably something will be changed. Not that it cannot be changed or it will have any drastic impact if it is changed.
We raise our child the way we believe is best for him and will be best for his future. Other caregivers are only concerned with the here and now, the present. We want to make sure he has all of the necessary skills and abilities to go through life and be a well rounded happy boy. Others are just happy he did not stain his shirt at lunch. In being concerned about cleaning a stain, they do not let him practice eating the way we do. A bit of mess is to be expected and is okay with us if he learns how to feed himself and can be independent.
We have to accept that no one will do things the way we do. We can teach and show but the results will not be the same. In the end, it is not us doing it. This is a difficult lesson to learn, but an important one for us. He needs to experience different things as it will ultimately be to his benefit.